Sugar Free, Naturally

Paleo Pumpkin Pie (from scratch!)

2011-11-18T06:25:00.001-05:00

'Tis the season for family and food, and lots of sweet things that some of us can't handle. Not only must I avoid a lot of sugar, I need to avoid flour. This recipe is a great compromise, slightly sweet but so damn good for you! You'll never believe you're eating a vegetable.

***So, a disclaimer about this recipe: I seem to have very shallow pie pans, so the way it's made (including the crust) makes 2 pies for me. If you have a deep dish, it may only make one pie. Be prepared to make two- they're so good you can freeze one, but it won't be in the freezer for long!

First, prepare the pumpkin puree. This is a lot easier than you'd believe.
Oven: 400 deg Fahrenheit

1 sugar pumpkin (do this- waaaaaay better than canned crap!), cut in half and the guts taken out. It's worth separating out the seeds, you can lightly toast them on a cookie sheet for 10 min while the pumpkin's baking.
Bake the pumpkin halves on a cookie sheet for 45 to 60 mins, until you can slide a fork easily into the flesh.
When that's done, take it out and let it cool a little bit. You'll need a food processor for this next part.
Peel the skin off the insides (this part's fun!) and put the insides into your food processor; blend until very smooth, no lumps. There's your pumpkin puree!

Then you need to make your "crust":
Oven: 350 deg F

2.5 cups nuts (walnuts, almonds, pecans work well)
2 to 4 tbsp oil
2 tbsp maple syrup
spices (cinnamon, nutmeg, ground ginger, clove; or cheat and use "pumpkin pie spice")

Get your processor ready. Put the nuts into the processor and start it up. When the nuts are pretty well ground, add the 2 tbsp oil gradually, and the syrup. I'll add the extra 2 tbsp of oil if the result isn't looking like "dough". Add in your spices- I just do a little sprinkle of each, to give the crust some flavor.
Spread the dough in your pie plate(s). I like to just make a 1/4 inch layer in the bottom and squish some up the sides a little bit.
Put the plate(s) in the oven. Bake the crusts for about 7 to 10 minutes. Keep an eye on it, it's very easy to burn it. You just want it to get golden brown. I suggest starting to make your pie mix while the crust is in the oven. When it's done, take it out and let it sit until you pour in your pie mix.

Make the pumpkin filling:
Oven: 400 deg F for 15 min, then 350 deg F for 35-45 min.

2 eggs
2 cups puree
1 cup coconut milk (or cream if you do dairy; needs to have some fat content, whatever you use)
1/2 to 1/3 cup sweet (maple syrup, honey, brown rice syrup, barley malt, whatever you like)
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp ground ginger
1/8 tsp ground clove

Beat the eggs in a med/lg bowl. Add the puree and blend well. Add the coconut milk and blend well. Add the sweetener; I use less because I'm trying to keep my sugar intake very minimal; you can add more if you want. Then add the spices. I like my pie very spicy; if you don't, use half the required spice, and try it- you can always add more but you can't take away!
Pour the mix into your pie plate(s) and put in the oven. Some folks will put a little pan with water on the rack beneath to keep the pies moist and prevent cracking, especially if you live in a dry climate.
Bake at 400 for 15 min, then reduce the temp. The pie is done when you can stick in a toothpick and it comes out clean.
Let the pie set a bit and cool before serving.

It's the bomb.

Paleo and Sugar Free check-in

2011-11-17T12:00:00.001-05:00

Wow, too much time has passed! I have moved to a new state, got a new job and in the blink of an eye neglected my favorite blog. I am fully cemented in eating Paleo and Raw now. I am becoming more and more sensitive to what happens to my body if I get any grains at all, and any sugar. Sometimes I just give in and eat a piece of pizza... after all, it sucks to be that girl who has to be all food sensitive when we all go out to eat! Bah! And sometimes I just want to have a damn piece of toast.Well, then I pay.What's interesting is that over the last year (and some) I have tried to balance out my sweet tooth. What can I eat? What won't shake me up and give me cramps? It's been tough! I remember leaning a lot on Stevia for my sweet tooth cravings. I also remember when I discovered I couldn't eat it anymore. I started reacting to it exactly as I did to sugar alcohols (maltitol, xylitol) which is intense bloating, cramps, gas. Fun fun! That was a sad, sad time. I love Stevia, what it was for me.So I try to be in moderation but a sweet tooth is for life. As I stated in the past, it is an addiction like any other; I look at my familial patterns and see that my entire family is addicted to either sugar or booze. What is a girl to do?Of course I want to be more "natural" and so I stick to honey and maple syrup. These things are more or less acceptable among the Paleo and even Raw theories. In moderation, of course. However... I am still having problems with carrying bloat, mood issues, and energy issues when I get too much. Or even a little bit. It's frustrating! I just want to be "normal" sometimes.I did a juice fast for three days last month. I used mostly vegetable broth that I made, pineapple juice smoothies (with kale/ spinach), water and tea. I tried to avoid most other fruit juices in general. Well, after the three days was up I felt amazing- no bloat, no gas, no mood issues. Wow. But one cannot live on broth alone!If I had the will power to simply eat only vegetables and lean meat, I would probably be fine. The will to do such things is not within me. I love my chocolate and sweets too much for that. Hrumph. Everything in moderation, right? Likely waiting until having a full belly with plenty of protein before taking anything sweet would indeed solve a lot of the problem.As I said many blog entries ago, kicking sugar is a life-long process. It is not the type of thing that you walk away from and you are "cured".

Subsidized sugars and "food deserts"

2010-05-15T11:11:00.000-04:00

A curious thing happened a couple of months ago- the CD player in my company truck seized up, forcing me to rely on radio. I cannot stand any of the music on any of the stations, so I found myself listening to NPR for 8 to 10 hours every day. I drive around for a living, as an ambulatory veterinarian... long have I avoided the News, because it tends to make me too angry. I discovered so much more though, lots of thoughtful conversations and topics, some of which I find relevant to this blog and the struggle I have long had to eat well.

There was a week when NPR covered obesity as our national epidemic. Finally I heard someone talking about the inverse relationship of obesity and poverty. In history, it was typically the rich man with the big belly- the "fat cat". These days it is the most impoverished that end up obese and unhealthy. Why is that? I think it's pretty simple; it's cheaper to eat fast food (the $1 menu, for example) than it is to eat the way I eat with my astronomical grocery bill from buying organic or whole foods. What is in the $1 menu? Lots of corn, some fatty meat, salt and sugar. Sugar. That's it. Nothing that is at all nutritionally sound.

Then they introduced the concept of the "food desert". This is areas of the country- often inner cities- where there simply is no fresh produce or meat available. For those folks who don't or can't drive, and can't take the time for a long bus ride to a grocery (or can't afford it!), they rely on the cheap sources of energy from fast food or the corner store. It is literally a desert. No fresh markets, no nothing. I have seen this myself! How are you supposed to eat healthily if you can't find the food to do it?

This all plays back into our health care system, too; and the millions of overweight and unhealthy Americans who aren't that way because they choose to be but sometimes are that way because it's what is available to them. Yes, sedentary life plays a big part- choosing to sit inside with your TV rather than walk or run or play- but so does diet. When you make nothing but cheap calories available to people, that's what they'll eat; then we all complain about the burden on our health care system. Well! Serves us right.

What about subsidized sugars? Not cane sugar, that's a whole other story. Corn sugars. High fructose corn sugars and syrups, one of the most evil things ever created. It's in everything. Why? We grow too much corn every single year, and it's paid for by the government... so where do we put it? We invent new ways each year to use up the surplus- fillers, additives, sugars, animal feeds and even plastics. Your plastic grocery sack is likely made of corn! And the government paid for it. I don't want my tax dollars subsidizing such a useless and dangerous starch! So many people have become hypersensitive and allergic to everything, and I've heard some pretty compelling cases made against the over use of corn and corn by products. We already know that overdoing sugars tanks your immune system. Go to the grocery store and look at how many things contain HFCS. Corn comes in other guises too!

Go watch "Food, Inc." for a closer look at how pervasive corn is, and how the industry works. It's sad. It even talks about the epidemic of poor folks unable to buy anything but fast food. And the powerlessness of folks to fight, often, because of the enormous lobbying power of some conglomerates, and their big lawyer budgets. It made me so angry!

So between NPR and this movie, lately, I have done a lot of thinking on how tough it is to eat well and be healthy. I'm lucky I make enough money to afford to eat well, and have a car to get me to the best place to buy produce. I support my local butcher and local farms, with both produce and meat, when these things are in season. If you can you should too. Heal yourself, heal the planet.

Paleo Diet

2010-02-01T11:17:00.000-05:00

Here I am, several months after the diagnosis of IBS and several years after my self-diagnosis of hypoglycemia and certain sugar allery (aka addiction). I've tried so many things to heal my body and mind; veganism, vegetarianism, alternative sugars, fruit-free, gluten-free. What I inevitably come back to each and every time is kicking sugar. Breaking the sugar habit. Realizing that I cannot have even a small amount, because it is the catalyst to bigger problems and habits that are harder and harder to break as my life accumulates more stress and responsibility.

I've wondered for a long time what it would be like if the temptation simply were not there. If the colorful packages beckoning from every aisle were missing; if I were raised on the simple fare of my ancestors and did not know this strange addiction and all that it entails. I thought a lot on my heritage- I am mainly Northern European, with some Native American thrown in (Inuit, or Eskimo)- what did they eat? What was my body best adapted for? Our ancestors did not have access to so much sugar, and not even so much fruit except in certain times of the year. These thoughts shaped what I typically cooked for dinner- fish and greens, some poultry when I finally dropped vegetarianism for good- but had no effect on the endless battle against chocolate and sugar.

I went back on the wagon this year. When you are facing isolation and boredom, that is the hardest time to look your own personal demons in the eye and try to win. Like Cartman says... "the chocolate loves you, the chocolate doesn't judge you..." Ah, such battles! Each and every holiday is filled with treats and more clever ways each year to peddle them. One of the grocery stores in my area has tables set up right in front of the doors so that when you walk in you are assaulted by the nearest holiday's brightly colored packages of chocolate and sugar, blasting your senses as soon as you enter. How hard it is to fight it! How very difficult! I fully sympathize with cigarette and heroin addicts, as I understand the undertow. A little... just a little... it opens the door, and you cannot fight that. There is no such thing as a little. It is all or nothing. I thought, when I began this fight (and this blog) that once I kicked it, it was forever. I did not know that it is a continuous fight.

One thing I have discovered, which has helped me immensely, is the Paleo Diet. As I was saying previously, I wondered a lot how my ancestors ate. Did they have digestive troubles as I do? Did they have colds all the time? Certainly some things must have been better, without so much sugar around. I have since read Dr.Cordain's "Paleo Diet" and have found so much relief. There are others out there thinking the way I do, and others who are committed to finding relief to dietary and GI issues. I don't enjoy constant low grade pain, gaseousness, and irregularity. In fact I didn't know I had constant low grade pain until it went away.

As I wrote in a previous entry, I went through testing this fall and was given the official diagnosis of IBS. Fabulous. What triggers it? Stress, and too much sugar, or foods that are "too rich". What is "too rich"? Well... fatty meats, cheese/ dairy, patries and candy, I assume. What else? The Paleo diet (which is a lifestyle, not some "lose wieght quick" diet that you use and lose) is basically committed to getting people back on what we evolved to eat. The basic tenet is this: eat as much fresh vegetables and fruits as you can, and eat some LEAN meat with your meals. Good quality protein, and not too much. Lean is the key; our modern meats are raised on foods they shouldn't be eating; you are what you eat, and thus the chain is created. So you do what you can. Animals fed what they were designed to eat make a proper ratio of fats in their own bodies, and you benefit from that directly. Cattle fed fermented grains (which they LOVE but boy does it cause a lot of medical problems, speaking as a veterinarian) create a lot of fat, and most of that fat is Omega-6 fatty acids- the kind that solidifies easily when you're done cooking that juicy hamberger. Well, Omega-3 (the "good" one) is one that is supple. So if you think about it- your body benefits from good "supple" fats because you need fat to keep you warm and give you energy; "hard" or "bad" fats tend to compete with the supple ones and that is not optimal. That's a very simplistic explaination... sorry.

We buy locally grown, grass fed beef. Free range chickens. We know where the animals are raised, we can see them. I eat a lot of fresh vegetables, and raw when I can. I eat fruit to satisfy the sugar urges. It doesn't work 100% of the time but I am making my best effort, because I want to feel better.

Eating so well actually illuminates the times I don't. I can feel the change as soon as I eat something stupid; my belly doesn't like it, then my mood crashes, and I feel terrible even up to the next day. That is just no fun. I know what I am doing and why; the responsibility for my own moods and my own health sit squarely in my lap. Sometimes this makes it easier to avoid eating things that are not good for me; sometimes it just makes the lesson when I don't all the more poignent.

Still, 90% of the time I am following the Paleo Diet. I don't eat any of the recipes I once posted here. I don't eat stevia (I react to it! Sad.); I don't eat ice cream, and chocolate only rarely. I just can't do it; one little bit and the door is shoved open, the demons of sugar addiction dancing all over me. I'm healthy, though, and fit; my body looks better and feels better. There are no grains in my diet at all. I don't need them, and I find that my blood sugar stays more stable, and I'm not hungry as fast. That took some adjusting; I was ravenous when I started on the Paleo diet. If this is what it takes to win this battle with sugar, so be it. I'm through with fighting.

I saw this picture on another blog, someone else who is fighting this fight... sugar is the gateway drug...

Final Diagnosis

2009-10-10T09:53:00.003-04:00

Well, after months of struggling with diet restriction, experimentation to figure out what exactly I was suffering, I went to a GI specialist. He took a good history, ran several blood tests- negative for H. pylori, wheat allergen, and an iron storage disease... the final diagnosis is IBS. I had suspected this back in college when I had a few years of horrible bouts of stomach pain, relieved only by going to the bathroom. Nothing I did seemed to help, until the circumstances in my life let up and the stress decreased. It faded away like a bad dream. Hmmm! How funny I forgot that. I have experienced some pretty strong stress in the past few months- mostly at summer's start- and that must have triggered another terrible episode, lasting these months past.

I guess it makes sense. I am relieved it is not celiac disease, Crohne's, or otherwise. This I can (and have) lived with. There are things which trigger episodes, such as STRESS, caffiene, SUGAR (and especially sugar replacements), cacao, milk products, and high fat diets. High fiber is what is recommended in order to control the symptoms... along with moderation of trigger foods.

Which brings me to a final realization and lifestyle change, one that I will hopefully manage to maintain for life... the Paleo Diet.

So, several months ago when I embarked on this journey to discover the source of my discomfort and pain, I had lamented that we could not easily just eat a simple food diet the way our ancestors had. I thought a lot about what my ancestors ate, Northern European folk (and Native American), what I had perhaps evolved to eat. That should be what's safe to consume, with no pain or distress! Still, fighting the sugar addiction was/is hard. So very very hard.

I started to look online through various things about issues such as mine and came across the Paleo Diet, or Neanderthin. I have bought and read the Paleo Diet book, by Dr. Loren Cordain. I was very much impressed by the throughness of his research, and how well thought out the plan is. It is not some fad diet embraced by anorexic Hollywood actresses whose lives balance on the head of a... carrot... but something he presents as a better way to LIVE. Not something you stick to until you are slim, but something you live by. We weren't meant to eat pounds of sugar, processed meals and tons of grains. Still, I wasn't sure and decided to go on a trial.

I feel amazing. It has taken me a little while to adjust to using a different source of energy, since my body is trained to use high carbohydrate sources in order to function. In just two weeks I feel much better- no bloating, no gas, no pain, no distress, no crashes or bad moods. It means I'm eating fruit again (yay!!!) without suffering any ill effects. Already though I have done a challenge test. In the book he helps you outline what you will eat day to day, to assist in adjusting. He gives three "open meals" which allow you to eat what you used to eat (just don't overdo it!) so you don't feel deprived or torn as you transition. Well... I went out to dinner and had cornbread, beer, and a lovely spinach salad (with waaaaaay too much dressing) with chicken and mozerella on it. It all tasted wonderful. But before I even got home I was gassing up, farting up the dickens, and woke up with some lovely IBS cramps. Guess I will have to be more careful when I go out. Ooops. Maybe no open meals for me?

I enjoy what I eat, but I'm having trouble staying full. I'm not sure why. He advocates that this way of eating makes you feel satisfied for longer, since protein breaks down more slowly in the gut. But when I'm hungry I'm starving! It's so curious. It's getting better, though; perhaps that is more of the transition. I eat a lot, eat all day long, and don't skimp... it isn't about cutting back on calories but eating quality. I feel a LOT better and look forward to having months at a time pain free.

As for sugar, I can do nothing but cut it out cold turkey. The Paleo Diet leaves no space for it anyhow. If I open that door the monster of the craving comes charging out, leaving me helpless. The first week of abstinence left me angrily craving... "what do I care! I am going to eat chocolate anyway!" but I gently worked through it. What a beast! What a tough, tough, beast! I feel better for it. Much, much better. I wish I were the sort that could be satisfied with a tiny piece of chocolate every few weeks or so, but I know that is not the case.

He goes on and on about how this reverses and controls various diet induced ailments, like high cholesterol, high blood pressure, incorrect fat balances (LDL vs HDL), obesity, arthritis, and so on. He also goes on at length about weight loss, which to me is a bonus but not my main goal. Already the bloated appearance of my belly is reduced, and I look better, slimmer. I have no wish to be "skinny" but to be healthy. I eat loads, and I am grateful to be eating fruit again! Yay!

I wish to say here also that I am deeply grateful I live in a place where I can afford to eat this way. I know this is not accessible to all. It is cheaper to live on highly process, crappy food. Food laden with sugar, salt, processed grains, and fat. Obesity once was a malady of the rich, and now it is a malady of the poor. It seems the poor can hardly be otherwise, as it is very expensive to eat a diet of good organic vegetables- the fresher, the better... and the more costly- fruit, and lean meat. That's the difference, too; not fatty crap meat and bacon and sausages (this is no Atkins) but good meat. Grass fed meat, raised how it is supposed to live naturally. That is expensive and hard to come by! I do recognize this, and know that not everyone can do this. I am so grateful that I work a good job, and live in a good area that allows me to invest in my health as fully as I wish.

If you wish to know more I urge you to find his website and read. It is one of the best things I've ever done. There are stories aplenty of folks with debilitating conditions that have worked hard to heal themselves through diet (something I advocate for animals, as a veterinarian!), even folks with IBS who have been symptom free for years now! It's heartening. And a good way to stay away from sugar... hopefully, forever.

sugar allergy and the continued fight

2009-08-17T02:37:00.003-04:00

Well, back when I started this blog I thought, there! I've kicked sugar, now I can relax into this good feeling of health and vigor. Ha! So innocent, I say now. The halcyon days.

Just as an alcoholic, it is one day at a time. It is about choice, it is about will, it is about being gentle with yourself when you aren't living up to your ultimate standards. It is about choosing to be the higher standard you hold and forgiving the slips, while reaching for the best health you can.

What a rough road!

It's funny, when I started this, I went through all the ways I could find in order to avoid sugar but enjoy life. I have a powerful sweet tooth, handed down to me by family (and likely genes, too; sugar is energy, energy is survival...) It is entangled with life's pleasures, the taste on the tongue. Within my journey, I have experimented with many different ways to keep that pleasure without the pain- the pain of crashing, mood swings, weight gain and all the myriad ways sugar destroys my balance. In those experiments I have discovered what I cannot tolerate, and have caused new intolerances along the way.

I am fully several weeks into avoiding fructose to the best of my ability. I cannot help but feel I brought this upon myself, this odd allergy. Has it truly been lifelong, or have I done this by overdoing things causing my flora so much upset? I used to tolerate Stevia, and now it causes me agony; I used to live on fruit every summer and now it causes me so much pain. Somewhere in my secret heart I used to wish I was allergic to sugar so that it would be easy to stop eating it. What if overdoing Stevia and other fake sweeteners has caused me to upset the balance like this? They say that overdoing high fructose corn syrup can trigger fructose malabsorption, and this syndrome takes all the other sweeteners with it! Oh, you wish to be allergic, wish granted. What a hypochondriac. Please.

Well, I have no wish to be some sensitive ridiculous girl who cannot eat as she pleases. That is just unacceptable. Right now I am eating a pared down diet, with the thought that if I give my GI system a break, I can heal and go back to being a normal human being who eats a normal diet. This is what we prescribe for dogs with GI upset; a bland diet with slow reintroduction into regular food once again. Why not people? Why not me?

Admittedly, I sometimes wish that I had access only to a more basic/ ancestral diet. Fish, ancient grains, fruits from whatever region my ancestors are from, maybe meat but rarely, good vegetables locally grown. I can do that if I'm committed. That's what I'm doing right now, anyway, in order to heal. Still, we are surrounded by a glut of easy prepared foods, stuff that is so oversweetened and oversalted you can't even detect the original ingredients. Don't even get me started on all that, please. I am eating basic, feel better for it and have no regrets. No regrets except one: that the deprivation of anything resembling sugar is making the siren song of it so strong I almost cannot bear it. It's terrible, ridiculous, I am an alcoholic sniffing out my next gin, a nicotine addict looking for a lost ciggy in the couch.

Now that I think of it the 5-HTP was helping. This is a building block the body uses to create dopamine in the brain, a serotonin precursor. Those chemicals are ones your brain uses for feelings of well being and calm, and help with things like cravings and addictions, loss of sleep and so forth. I was taking it regularly and then forgot the habit when I moved. I can see now that it was helping, a great deal! It sometimes isn't enough to be committed to an idea, the idea of kicking sugar, if your body will not climb aboard the train with you. Everyone's got to be along for the ride.

It can sure be a helpless feeling when you are years into an ideal, and yet cannot simply just get into it and stay there. I sympathize with all my heart for those who give up cigarettes and have to walk through a cloud of smokers on their way into a pub. Or those who have been sober for years and get invited by co-workers to the pub after work, knowing just how difficult it will be to sit in that environment. I am lucky enough to have never been addicted to those things, or other drugs. I plea the case that sugar is as addictive and as evil. That it can most certainly lead to other addictions. If you've read "Potatoes not Prozac" or other texts on sugar addiction, you can see others feel this way as well.

If you have been on this journey with me, I'd love to know how you're faring. It's a tough road, right? I'm on and off again. I'd love to sit on a high horse and say that all those years ago I threw down the candy and never touched the stuff again, but I'd be lying. No, I fully jumped off the wagon and bounced right back into the swings and bloat and moods and all that. Only with full knowing of the consequences, and guilt. Lovely. Bring the headcase gear along, folks, it's going to be a wild ride. Eeek!

Well, it's off again, since my body has said in so many ways "enough!". I hear you, loud and clear! No sugar, no stevia, no tropical fruits, no dried fruits, no concentrated juice, no sugar alcohols, hell, not even any wheat for now. Don't you just hate it? Being "sensitive"? Or "special"? B.S. Total crap. I hate it. Makes me want to live in the middle of nowhere that knows nothing of Cadbury or the cane, the magical extract of beets, trees or bees...

Fructose Malabsorption

2009-06-12T23:44:00.002-04:00

A new development I have stumbled across... well, new for me, since there's lots of good research out there about the topic. A bummer to be sure, but at least I have a name now and something I can try.

So two weeks ago, I started realizing that this whole bloating and icky (farty!) thing was getting out of control. It was non stop. Just ridiculous. I was eating NO STEVIA, nothing strange, no added nothing... and just disgusting, painful, horrible. Well, the difference is that it's spring/summer and the fruits are out! Yay! Favorite time of year for a sugar junkie like me, natural sweetened goodness... I was eating cherries by the handful and suffering horribly as a result. WTF? My favorite things are smoothies (mango, pineapple, carrot and spinach); fruits (cherries and apples); with dehydrated "raw" oat cookies with dates and raisins. I pretty much lived off this stuff all last summer, and just farted away, thinking the culprit maybe flax seeds, or sunflower, or whatever, with my raw experiment.

Well this time it was absolutely clear that the culprit was the cherries. It was so hot last week that I barely wanted to eat in the truck as I drove around; when I did, I often went for the cherries first as they were simple and small. Within an hour I was bloated up, farting away and embarassed. Not to mention pissed. I love fruit! I love living off fruit in the summer! Unfair! First sugar alcohols, then my beloved Stevia, now this? What the hell is wrong with me?

I stopped eating fruits for a few days to see what would happen. I felt better, looked better, and sounded better (heh). This made me pretty curious so I started hunting online to see what the hell my problem was. In a long and roundabout way I found dietary fructose intolerance (DFI) which is now called fructose malabsorption. I read all about it and it made so much sense to me, I can't deny either that it exists or that this may be the root of my problem.

I will save explaination of it here, since others have done such a fabulous job. You can check out what they say in these websites:
http://fructmal.googlepages.com/
http://www.healthsystem.virginia.edu/internet/digestive-health/nutrition/BarrettArticle.pdf

And of course there are more, but if you think you are having issues I urge you to do some research yourself. The first website gives a lot of good and interesting links.

Well it certainly explains a lot. My steadily increasing intolerance for things over the years. Problems I had as a kid. It's even linked to depression, PMS and mental fogginess... problems I abhor and deal with constantly. I'll do anything to feel better, anything. If it means eating a boring bland diet for 6 weeks, so be it. This sucks. This is the worst thing you can do to a sugar addict, to a major sweetaholic... the WORST. Then again, it may just be the very thing that saves my life and sanity, who knows?

How interesting that I have a strong addiction to the very thing that makes me feel the most horrible. It has psychological implications I am just going to have to avoid like the plague, I have enough on my plate these days. It certainly does bear thought though, as to why people become addicted to the very poisons most likely to kill them. Or at the very least harm them. In love with the toxins that take you down.

I'm going to plan this boring horrible "ancestral diet" very carefully, and I'll check in and report how it's going now and then. I know a lot of this has to do with bacterial overgrowth in the large intestines... I wonder is there a way to reset the buggers? Some people have given their experience that the symptoms started after a bout of sickness that was treated with antibiotics. Yet some people report that probiotics make it worse... more bacteria to feed on the fructose you're not absorbing. How frustrating! It's likely there's damage to the intestinal lining or crypts that make absorption of fructose/ fructans no longer possible. Is there a way to heal that, restart things (the lining regrows every 7 days or so), reboot the bacterial flora in the gut, and start over? Lots of that wierd hippie colonic cleansing shit I guess. Ugh. Doesn't sound that pleasant, but hey... if it helped me I'd do it. First I will experiment and see if I'm barking up the right tree; I already feel better, so I guess so.

Cheers.

Off the wagon and on again.

2009-02-20T18:37:00.003-05:00

I'm beginning to realize that quitting sugar is a lot like quitting cigarettes (based on my friends and family's experience) or heroin (which I've read about). It's tough, so tough! When I started this quest I had this quaint notion that I would quit sugar, walk away, and feel so awesome I'd never go back. Feel so healthy, self-righteous, elated, alive... why would I want to touch that stuff again?

Well! That is just not the case. It became a battle somewhere, involving a whole lot of guilt and weird back-and-forth arguments in my head. Never a dull moment to be human, I guess. The trick with quitting anything is to just pick yourself up and get back on the wagon as soon as you can, like the next day. I just lost the will somewhere, caught up in the misery and stress of schooling and then my internship. It just didn't seem to matter anymore to take care of myself in the way I know best. Maybe the psyche likes misery? Hey I know! We're miserable and stressed, let's compound that by altering things drastically with that sugar drug! Whee, isn't this fun?

Plus, the fact that there is sugar around constantly in the place I work (and the place I went to school) means I can never escape. I used to dream when I was a child that someday I'd have a big glass jar, as tall as me, that was an eternal fount of candy. No matter how much you took from it, how much you ate, it was never empty! In that world, you could eat chocolate for all your meals, and boy was that fabulous! Well, it's nearly a reality with the way we live today, and with the endlessly filled candy dish at work (not to mention cookie Thursdays, plus thank you gifts from clients, do-gooders bringing in donuts, etc, etc... endless...) It makes is so challenging to live up to the highest ideal I have given myself.

It makes quite an interesting vortex or whirlwind, too; eat that crap, feel guilty/ bad that I'm off the wagon, compound with stress from work, eat more of the crap to try and feel better (the mind likes arguments like- well, I deserve some pleasure, don't I?); feel worse, crash, eat more. Next thing you know I'm buying it instead of just eating it at work, and voila! Not only am I off the wagon, I'm sitting in the dirt watching it pull away. Oof!

I never wanted it to be a battle where I could beat myself up for making mistakes. In fact I am always telling others to be gentle with themselves if they slip and eat pie at a family dinner. It's ok to be human! However, I need to remind myself it's for my health and it really doesn't make me feel good to crash and burn in that endless cycle. Or worse, hurtle towards diabetes. Goddess forbid!

After being "off the wagon" for quite a long time, I've jumped back on, cold turkey. I cannot allow myself even a little bit because it's a gateway. Depression and stress are no excuse because frankly, they are worsened by sugar. I know this! Instead of leaving it as an indefinite thing, I have decided to be a bit more gentle and go month by month. I am simply doing a sugar fast this month. None. No sugar. That's easy, I know I can do that, that is an attainable goal! It is a perfect way to detox, and trick myself into compliance. It's easy to go around the candy bowl at work when I can say to myself- not this month! I'm not eating sugar right now.

Then, next month, I can do it again. And again. Until I am back in the swing and can write on here how amazing I feel not eating crap.

I was prompted to jump back on due to the fact that I got sick again. When I am not eating sugar, I never get ill. Now I've been battling a lingering cold/ crud for weeks and I'm disappointed. Not only that but I gained some weight, feel terrible, achy, and so on. How shameful, since I know the prevention and the cure! Old habits truly die hard, and people where I live are very unforgiving of those living an alternative lifestyle... very suspicious of those who do not eat the All American Diet. Many of the people around me are overweight. It's an epidemic in this country, as we all know! I want no part of the modern diseases our diet has caused us. Time once again to stop.

Fasting for the New Year

2009-01-03T18:30:00.003-05:00

I'm sure many of you have been battling the endless battle of Holiday Crap. Aunt Sally's Death by Chocolate... Granny P's devastating peanut brittle... the list goes on and on. The candy jar at work. The endless thank you presents from clients- cookies, chocolates, you name it. Ugh. You gain weight, crash and get cranky just by looking at the stuff.

It's a tough battle to say no all the time, especially to well-meaning family members who get such joy out of feeding others. Or with co-workers who secretly get pleasure out of sabotaging your diet... you know who I mean. It's cruel! Just cruel!

Anyway take a deep breath, the new year is here and there isn't another stuff your face holiday for a while.

I am fasting to celebrate the new year, as a way to re-start my body and mind back into the health I adore so much. Cleansing is good practice, and not a bad idea to do a few times a year, or more if you stress a lot. Giving your body a break from all the things you put into it makes good sense.

The fast I am doing does not involve complete food deprivation. I cannot do that, I've tried. It makes me crazy. Instead, I am doing a fruit fast for two days (today is day two) and then an Ayurvedic type fast for another two days. (I got it from the "Eat, Taste and Heal" book, look it up, it's rad). Basically, I figured out what would work best for my body- deprivation not being the answer- and I'm sticking to it.

Two days of raw fruits (and some dried), pretty much whatever is appealing and fresh. I have been enjoying pineapple, pears, apples, mangoes, kiwi, pomegranates, bananas, dates and figs. Even dried papaya. It's been wonderful. I feel calm and clean right now, brighter. Out of respect for my body I am not doing the strenuous workouts I normally do, but am taking it easy with yoga only.

The next two days will be eating only rice and mung beans, called Kitchari. I am not cooking the beans as it is called for however; I sprouted them to get the most nutrition out of the beans. Sprouted beans are incredible. So much energy and enzymes! I mean, when a bean is sprouting you are getting all that vigorous "life! life!" energy out of them, fantastic. I was mostly raw all summer and lived on sprouted beans and grains. (This practice is tougher in winter when I want desperately to be warm, and eat warm, all the time.)

The purpose of the cleansing and the fast is to abstain completely from caffeine, additives, preservatives, toxins, white sugar, flour, etc. Just simple foods that are easy for the body to digest and process. Yes, fruit is high in sugar, and not ideal for long term fasts. I seem to be doing ok on this front though, luckily.

On day 5 when regular food is to be introduced, it is done slowly; adding simple soups, steamed veggies, and whole grains, a little at a time with each meal. I may even do some raw fish on day 6 I think.

I encourage everyone to cleanse every now and then. You have to pick the one that is right for you, and if you have physical issues make sure your doctor knows. There is nothing worse than causing damage when you only mean good!

Good luck in the sugar battle, and happy new year!

Allergies and processed foods

2008-12-05T14:28:00.003-05:00

This topic is a can of worms... or worse, Pandora's Box. I have a few things to address on this issue.

The first is a commentary on my own new allergies. I have never been allergic to anything, that I know of. Now, it is apparent that I cannot eat any fake-chemical sugars, and I have a sad, sad feeling that Stevia is becoming something of an issue as well.

A few years ago, when I began my effort to kick sugar, I found some "sugar free" candy by Hershey's. It was a small bag of Peppermint Patties... and I ate them all! Oh, how I paid and paid. My belly swelled up as big and tight as could be. I suffered the most terrible colic pains... horrible, horrible belly ache that made me feel so awful. I lay on the bed in agony until I started tooting it out, and it took hours to get real relief.

After that, I slowly tried other "fakes" and discovered, one by one, that I have the same disasterous symptoms. I didn't really want to be eating them anyway since I don't believe we truly know their effect on our bodies (or water systems, when we pee them out) long term... rumors of cancer and so forth make me hesitate. Still, I hated how I felt when I crashed from sugar so from time to time I tried some things. And now I know I cannot ever eat fake sugars. In any form.

Even now, after using Stevia for a few years, I am starting to discover that it too makes me a little gassy. Not nearly as colicky as the others, but that is how it starts; a little reaction, and then, boom! On to full blown allergy. Damn. I have also noticed how terrible I feel when eating super processed foods too... after eating raw all summer (easy due to so many farmer's markets!) I can see the difference, eating a winter diet of cooked foods. I don't feel well, and gained a little weight... isn't it sad! My body only wants the best of the best to be completely happy. So sensitive!

Which brings me to another point. Allergies. I feel people are suffering from these more now than ever before. Is it because of environmental causes, pollution and lawn chemicals and too many other types of crap in our air and water? Or is it because children aren't playing outside and eating dirt, rolling around with dogs, like they used to? Another favorite theory of mine is diet. Too much sugar weakens your immune system, and processed foods as well... how would we all feel if it just wasn't available, if all you had to eat was good whole foods?

Sometimes I wish that junk food wasn't so readily available. My life would certainly be better, without the endless battle of sugar and all that. Especially now that I am learning that my body simply does not like anything that isn't straight from this earth, direct.

Raw and Sugar Free

2008-08-09T09:25:00.003-04:00

Ahh, the neglect! I have neglected this poor old blog as my life has become very full and busy. What's new? Well, I have this very summer become inspired to further enhance my nutrition by experimenting with eating more raw/ vegan, and especially local foods. This has been a fantastic experiement, and easy to do with the summer being so abundant with fruits and veggies. I've found that I have more energy, feel even better than before!

What has been modified, then? I don't cook. I have a few wonderful Raw transition books and have been experimenting with a dehydrator to make sprouted "bread" and "cookies". In fact, I have been sprouting quite a lot which is becoming my favorite way to eat legumes and grains. It's amazing! All the while I am still eating things that make me happy, such as ice cream, but I am using recipes from a book called Vice Creams, which are based on almond milks or coconut meat.

It hasn't been easy. It's never easy to change your mindset. The main reason I am doing this is to consume less packaging, waste less resources. Eating raw means less processing, which is better for your body and the environment- eating foods with intact enzymes means more is available nutritionally for your body. Less packaging means less petroleum used, and we all know that this idea can only be for the good of our planet (and our society!)

You have to be careful when eating this way to be balanced and to eat a well rounded diet, lots of sprouted beans and grains for complete proteins. Adult humans do not need nearly the protein we advocate for ourselves (via the beef council); in fact only 10% for a normal adult or MAYBE 20-30% for a body builder. The rest should be balanced... none of this crazy "carb fear" or any of that bunk. Keep the sugar out, eat your grains and veggies, fruits and legumes and relax! I look great and feel even better.

I'm back!

2007-07-12T09:04:00.001-04:00

I'm back in town, just got a new apartment... looking forward to refurnishing my kitchen. My dear friend Anna is getting me a new ice cream maker; last summer when we shared a place doing research together, I made lots and lots of Stevia ice cream that she enjoyed greatly. So now when I make ice cream I can think fondly of her (and invite her over to eat as much as she likes!)

Things are looking up. It was tough, traveling and living out of my car, finding things to eat that worked well with me to keep my energy up. I even had to stoop to using a microwave to make nut butter cups while I was on my various externships. Hey, whatever works. What a giant relief to have a home base, a place to work from again.

The challenge now is restoring my kitchen. I am not going to have nearly what I did before, but that's ok. I bake less since giving up sugar, so some of it I don't need. Good thing! There's no oven where I live now, just a stove top. I know I eat a lot of flour, so it isn't a bad thing to adjust to. I baked maybe 4 times a year anyway- mostly in the fall and winter; and I have friends with ovens...

So. I'm back, and cookbook-less, and so I will become more creative in my endeavors. I hope you will continue to be inspired, there's more to come!

Changes

2007-05-22T22:24:00.001-04:00

Dear friends,
My life has taken some sad crazy changes lately and I have been working pretty hard to maintain an even keel. The house I was living in burned down 3 weeks ago, taking all I owned (except for a few pieces of jewelry) with it. It has been a surreal and pretty unimaginable few weeks, full of changes and challenges. The amount of support and outpouring of love and help has been incredible, and I can stand before you now saying yes, I'm ok, I'm surviving. My kitties did not. None of what I have worked my whole life to build has survived. When you come from nothing and build from nothing, it hurts to lose it all.

So three weeks later, I am traveling on my externships in my last year of veterinary school and am faced with a spectacular set of issues. Not only am I adjusting to living with an entirely new wardrobe and set of belongings (only, by choice and design, the bare minimum of what I require to get by!) but I am also meeting a lot of new people and traveling to unfamiliar places AND trying to maintain the lifestyle I have crafted for myself. Including eating well despite stress, strife and unfamiliar environments.

The first three weeks after the fire were pretty easy. I simply did not want to eat. For the first time in my life I experienced grief anorexia. I have never ever had a problem eating before. Never. When stress rolls along, I would usually seek comfort and be in danger of relapsing to my old sugar habits. Well, folks, surprise surprise... three weeks in unfamiliar digs, totally displaced, out of sorts, sleep deprived... I was barely getting what calories I needed and not even noticing.

That has come to ease of late but I am faced with the new challenge of living in a hotel that has fridges, just not one in my room. So I am adjusting to eating in a whole new way, still sticking to my guns of not eating sugar- tempted though I may be by the ease of prepared foods. And free hotel breakfast (I allow you to guess what that might entail). Not to mention life on the road with busy horse vets. Yeah- recipe for disaster, but I'm doing ok. My appetite is returning, and I am starting to wonder what the hell I'm going to eat for the next 10 weeks, while surviving in the way I know best.

I'm sleep deprived. I'm not getting enough veggies. I have no place to put them! I don't have the money to eat out all the time... so peanut butter and fruit spread are my options. Now, fruit spread is not ideal, I know- it's pretty much sugar, but I do get the 100% fruit kind and use very little. I am at a loss. No way to cook, nothing to really cook in. Bought a camp stove and fancy camp pot (and this neato swiss army fork/spoon thingie, wowie!) I am making do with having nothing except my car and the kindness of strangers.

So. Traveling... no sugar... this is not so much a challenge here, but I imagine the deeper south I go the more interesting it will get. We shall see, that's what I know.

The argument about Agave

2007-04-16T08:24:00.000-04:00

I have to say that I am very excited that more and more people want to talk about giving up sugar, or at least cutting down on it and finding alternatives. Recently I've had the pleasure of talking shop with a well known Vegan baker from the western part of the state. She's been getting requests for all sorts of dietary discretions- like gluten free, for example- and has also been asked to make 'sugar free' delights, or at least sugar alternative.

So we chatted in the kitchen at a friend's party about alternatives. My own journey to this point began many years ago with a conversion over to 'alternative sugar'. These consist of barley malt, agave syrup, brown rice syrup, sucanat (the stuff they strip off the white sugar), maple syrup, date sugar, and honey. There are even several cookbooks out there devoted to "naturally sweet" desserts, focused entirely on using these products. I definitely encourage people who want to break away from white sugar slowly to go down this path; it's still sugar, yes, but there are merits to the method. It worked for me to help me wean off and become more aware of what I was taking into my body.

Of course, it is easy to trade one addiction for another- you can overindulge on 'alternative' sugar as easily as the white stuff. All things in moderation. However, many alternatives are whole foods (like date sugar, for example) and take a little longer to break down, with the added bonus of some minerals thrown in. I mean, if you are eating dessert you are consciously making the choice to eat something that isn't 'food' in the sustenance sense; but you can still do it as wisely as possible. I even use whole wheat flour every time I bake something (which is rare these days) in the hopes that even though I'm indulging, I'm not completely abusing my body.

Not all 'alternatives' are equal, and not all are benign either. The thing to consider when experimenting with these where on the glycemic index they fall. What is the glycemic index? You can try this website (http://www.glycemicindex.com/); here's my description: basically, most foods have some effect on the body in terms of insulin release. The simpler the carbohydrate (or in our case, the sweetener), the faster the insulin response, the faster the body breaks it down and the higher you 'spike' in terms of reaction. Some people are exquisitely sensitive to the ensuing reaction (like me). How this fits into the sweetner scheme goes a little like this: white table sugar is at the top. It is stripped down of anything other than pure sucrose, and the body recognizes it as a raw instant energy. Insulin is released quickly, the body deals with the influx very very fast and the sugar is used up or stored away, depending on your body's needs.

So if white table sugar is at the top, something like Stevia is at the very bottom. Or, say, certain meats, or if you decided to eat clay. Honey and maple syrup are very nearly pure sucrose, and so are essentially the same as white sugar in terms of body response. Brown rice syrup falls below that, along with barley malt; and agave is lower still. I can feel the effect of agave, but not nearly as much.

Anyway, we got to talking about Agave. This is a clever sweetner, derived from the agave cactus. Lots of people are turning to agave instead of honey or maple syrup- especially those vegan folks- as an alternative to sugar. It is sweet, but not overly so; still, it would be a mistake to say "I don't eat sugar" and then go and consume a bottle full of agave. If you want to be a purist, that is. Yes, it is definitely lower on the index, no question (some bottles advertise this fact on the label).

What is the argument then? Well it goes something like this. If you are the sort that likes to wean slowly off sugar, I encourage you to explore alternatives. Give agave and brown rice syrup a try. They can be cumbersome to figure out if you are not accustomed to baking; they are wet sweetners and you need to account for that. Plus they have a flavor all their own, and it takes determination to change a palate preference. It can be done, however. Barley malt is even more powerful in terms of lending its own peculiar flavor; I liked using it with recipes that have a strong flavor already, to drown it out. Use them wisely is all I am saying, and be clear that you are still evoking an insulin response from your body- perhaps not as extreme, but it is there nonetheless. It worked for me; I doubt I could have kicked sugar instantly without knowing how to make 'alternative' stuff for myself. There are cookbooks out there that can help you if you are curious.

Another Sugar Holiday passed!

2007-04-08T22:04:00.000-04:00

Ahhh, Easter! The glut of sugar commercialism at its finest. It is now over. And I made it through.

I was not tempted! I did not stray from my path! I made it through, unscathed, and whole! Hoooray!

Easter is one of the hardest Sugar Holidays for me, since I love Cadbury. Just love it. Instead I had my lovely Stevia nut butter cups (I have been using Cashew-Macadamia, spoiled brat that I am, love it! Just love it!) and felt satisfied.

Lately I've been getting back into the ice cream, now that it is hinting at warming up (not actually warming up, mind you, just teasing that it could happen). Sad thing is I think it isn't agreeing with my belly. I don't fully understand it since I tolerated it fine last year, but I am feeling some icky GI issues and it may be the ice cream. mmmrrpph! I need to go pout over that. Or deal with the GI stuff. Or take lactaid.

See, I'd love to get more into the nut milks but it is hard to get the right consistency with the ice cream. I will have to make comment on this at another time, but there is a book out called Vice Creams which are nut based, and I have experimented a little... but still love my formula the best...

Anyway, I hope if you are reading this that you too have made it through this holiday without succumbing to a sugar coma. If you did be gentle with yourself, it is not easy to kick the sugary shackles that hold us tight in this society.

Stevia: not for everyone

2007-03-28T21:19:00.000-04:00

I have been having interesting discussions about my diet at school. It would come to that, as in clinics you spend a lot of time with people doing intense, stressful things- in the down time, we learn about each other and relax. People are so generous and sweet, too; bringing treats for each other as a sense of kindness (in their hearts). It makes them feel bad when they realize I won't (can't?) eat the doughnuts or brownies, or even the amazing looking chocolate mousse.

Sigh.

I don't want to make anyone feel bad, so I just gently explain that I simply cannot do it to myself ever again. One of the people in my rotation, E, commented she noticed the difference when I went 'off the wagon' second year... haha... and the difference now that I am back on track, one year now. There were a lot of questions, naturally, about the way that I am able to abstain and how the hell did I manage to do it in the first place? It is so interesting to me to hear someone say, "Oh I could never do it, I am a hopeless sugar addict, you don't understand."

Oh, don't I ever. Don't I ever.

I do, because, see, I am a hopeless addict too; I could not survive this without my clever stevia crutch. I fully and freely admit it. I like sweeties as much as the next girl, and chocolate all the more. If it weren't for this, I may not have gotten free. (If it weren't for cocoa puffs I might not have ever gotten snared).

But I did.

The discussions with these fine intelligent people leads them to curiosity about the things I am eating; people are often amazed to hear I make my own chocolates and ice cream. It sounds complicated to them, I imagine; but really it is no more complicated than biscuits, with the same time committment. I like chocolate a whole lot more than biscuits, anyway. In order to show them it is possible, I brought in a sampling; half my supply of cashew-macadamia nut butter cups. My favorite flavor, and best invention yet- the peanut butter version pales in comparison. It was well recieved by all but one.

E, who so astutely described my sugary fall from grace, tried it and could not finish it. It was much too bitter for her (Stevia does not assuage the bitterness of pure baking chocolate, nor lighten it at all; it is dark, fierce chocolate, not for the faint at heart). She said it burned her tongue, and believed it was the stevia that did this.

I cannot say either way. It could have been the shocking dark bitterness of the chocolate that made her tongue feel strange, or perhaps a reaction to the nut butters. I have never heard of this reaction to Stevia, which is not to say it isn't possible. If you have experienced this email it to me here, it is good to know. Me, I can eat the stuff all day long, and do (mostly in my tea, several times a day). So use it with caution, it may not be for everyone.

When family doesn't get it

2007-03-17T20:39:00.000-04:00

Well, you can't convince everyone. Not that I'd want to. Not my job.

However.

I do want at least my family to understand or at the very minimal respect what I am trying to do. Sigh. Doesn't always work that way, I know, and I am mostly resigned to the fact that I walk my own path and that's ok.

Anyway, my mom is... special. She thinks what she wants, no use trying to change the gal, she does her own thing anyway.

Everyone who knows me knows I am vegetarian and sugar free. That's a fact. Do I sometimes bend the rules? Yes. It's rare, but I do it. (Not with vegetarianism, but who can say no to mom's christmas cheesecake? That would be ludicrous). For the most part, though, it's known that I do not want dessert and it's best not to offer it to me- if you love me why would you want to torture me?

Now, if you've been with me since easter of last year, you know that I kicked sugar by ODing via Cadbury, the lovely Cadbury easter madness. Oh yes. Mini eggs, my own special weakness.

And she knows that.

As I said, my mom is special. One of the most giving, generous and kind souls on the planet. Also one of the most strangely vindictive- extremely subtle, but she's somewhat of a cat with a mouse. When you do (or are) something she doesn't quite approve of, she'll blithely ignore it and form you to her own special reality. I've adapted gracefully to it and know when to pick my battles.

I know, I know- you're dying to hear: what the hell did she do?

So she tells me she sent a package in the mail, and was quite excited about it. Besides herself. Well, it was going to arrive on Thursday, approximately. I was on call at the hospital on Thursday- left at 6 am, and arrived home at 6 pm the next day. That's life. Oh, and arrived home in a blizzard- yes, crazy snow... Anyway, she called and said:
"Did you get your present?"
"Oh! No- I haven't been to the box today, it's snowing like mad out."
"Well, go get it! I think it will help you, you've been so tired and stressed. Go get it."
"Mom! There's a blizzard outside!"
"What? Go get your mail! You grew up here, you shouldn't be afraid of a little snow. Go on. It will cheer you up."

Fine.
So I went.

What did I get?

Yep. Mini eggs, a new variety with 'royal dark chocolate.' Wow. Yeah- they looked good, in the sexy dark purple wrapper...
And a card. A card with a lovely photo of a beef cow noshing a corn cob. The text at the bottom said:
"Corned beef in the early stages."

Ha.
Ha.
Ha.

Ok- so how do you get back on the phone to a person who is sitting excited on her couch states away, breathlessly waiting for you to call back? I mean- she knows I'm vegetarian. She knows I don't eat sugar. I think she's trying to torture me. She's kinda sick like that. It's a test of my grace, and I can't yell at her- because she may genuinely believe she is being really kind and funny. Wow.

So- I call her and in our usual way I tell her she's sick and needs help (about the card) but tell her that although the candy is so thoughtful, I'm not eating sugar. I don't want to crush her. I tell her I'll try them (she was really excited about the new flavor) and that I am going to cheer up everyone else at the hospital, let her think she's spreading the love around.
Man 0h man, family takes patience sometimes. Whew.

One year- coming up!

2007-03-11T18:08:00.000-04:00

As the next major Super Sugar Holiday approaches, I am reminded of how I pushed myself one year ago to quit sugar again. I walked through the grocery today and as I sailed past the 'seasonal' isle, I could see all the holiday treats trotted out long before the holiday has even arrived. Easter! A time of amazing confectionary treats! Some that I sadly do like. And will be avoiding with all my strength of will, with sanity intact.

What's interesting is that since I have not eaten any sugar in so long, I don't crave it like I did. I see the pretty packages that promise a little slice of sugary chocolate heaven, and I am not as tempted as I was when I had fallen completely off the wagon. This brings me so much relief! I never would have thought, years ago, that it would get easier. But it does. It truly does.

One year ago, I pushed my addiction until I was sick. I had to do it that wy, otherwise I wouldn't have gotten free. It wouldn't work for everyone, but I am now able to walk past the isle without wistfulness. I recall this being the case last time I went sugar free. It gets easier, I promise that it does.

Right now I feel pretty damn healthy and whole. I am more prone to choosing better foods and eat healthier all around because I am not so distracted by sugar. Oh, I've still got a sweet tooth, don't get me wrong! Using Stevia is freeing indeed, but I still want it. The sweetness. I doubt that will go away. I feel fine indulging in the Stevia version of what I want though, knowing it isn't going to uproot my moods and turn me into a crazy person.

I will stand strong and turn the other cheek as Sugar Holiday #2 approaches... I can, because I have so far, and will continue... yay!

Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cherry Stevia Ice Cream

2007-02-20T08:35:00.000-05:00

Yes! It was wild, delicious, ridiculous, and tasty!

My Valentine's Delight. Here's the recipe.

2 eggs
2 cups cream
3/4 cup milk
3 squares baking chocolate
1/3 cup cocoa powder (non sweet)
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp Stevia (I prefer Kal)
1 cup chopped cherries
3 more squares of chocolate
1/4 tsp Stevia for that
*Melt the chocolate on the stove or in the microwave.
*Add the cocoa powder to it- it seems awkward, just trust me.
*Add the milk SLOWLY to this mix.
*Then beat the eggs in another bowl.
*Add the cream to the eggs, whip that...
*Add the chocolate to the egg and cream mix
*Mix in the Stevia and vanilla...

Put in the ice cream maker and wait.

While you are waiting:
Chop up the cherries into small pieces.
When the ice cream is getting firm and rising to the lip of the maker (I use the Cuisinart maker with the gel cylindar, you can get it at Linen's) begin to make your 'chocolate chips'.
Basically, melt the chocolate and add stevia; do this far enough in advance that it cools a bit but is still liquid when you add it. It takes finesse and is an art, sorry- that's the best I can do to describe it.
So when the ice cream rises to the lip, add in the cherries and the chocolate; I had help and it made it go better- one person was sprinkling in cherries while I spooned in the chocolate, allowing the maker to swirl it away. It breaks up into flakes and chunks when it cools. I love the texture.

Voila! Valentine's Delight!

Stevia Chocolate Covered Cherries

2007-02-20T08:29:00.000-05:00

It was snowing like mad out, on Valentine's Day, preventing my lover from driving out to visit me. Rather than pine we laughed about it and postponed the date, and I set about to make it a fine evening all snowed in.

There was a bag of cherries in the freezer, slated for the ice cream we were to make. I had a divine inspiration...

I took them out of the freezer and thawed about 10 of them on a plate in the microwave. Not till they were hot, but just juicy.
In my muffin tin, I put little mini muffin liners (I found some with snowflakes at Michael's... soooo cute!).
Then I melted three or so squares of baking chocolate, and added Stevia until it tasted right- about 1/4 tsp. Each liner got a little puddle of chocolate, and I let it firm up a bit; then each puddle got a cherry set down gently on top. I heated the chocolate a bit again to get it flowing and slowly and carefully covered each cherry with chocolate.

I put them on the porch to chill (a giant freezer! Use your freezer if it isn't arctic where you are) and then fed them to my poor housemate who was also stuck inside with no date...

Yummy!!

Sugar Holiday #1: Vanquished

2007-02-20T08:19:00.000-05:00

Having successfully glided past Valentine's Day, I sit to write the tale. The year according to Hallmark, the grocery store and the drug store is broken up into holidays. Each of which has its own special color scheme and style of gifts and candies to ply the loved ones with.

It begins with Valentine's Day. A farce of a holiday with a good idea at heart- expressing love- which originally marked the death of Saint Valentine. In college, I would wear black to demonstrate my feelings about the holiday. These days I like red and wear it if I feel like it; but still abhor the sugar-laden free for all that it engenders. Not to mention the incredible amount of stress on lovers to do the most romantic thing possible... but this blog isn't for that rant. That is found in other venues.

No, the rant lies in the drug store trap. Chocolate, my inherent weakness, bandied about like foliage- wrapped in luscious shiny red packages... cordial cherries, chocolate cremes... Yes, it makes me feel a little like the Mayor in Chocolat- I want to roll in it until I pass out.

Anyway. I got through Valentine's day without the merest desire to glance down the red sparkly aisle. Whew!

My lover A was also respectful of this and came over so we could make ice cream together. I made chocolate cherry chocolate chip... all with stevia... and my very own chocolate covered cherries. Yes! They were wonderful! I did not feel the least bit disappointed; truth be told, I have come to prefer my own brand of sweets. I like the dark rich mouthfeel of my chocolate, and the lightness of my ice cream. I will post the cherry recipe here after this blog. It was decadent.

I noticed the easter eggs are already out... that will mark one year to my return to the sugar free life. I will celebrate, I hope you will too.

Victory for Protein Shakes!

2007-02-02T13:04:00.000-05:00

I have just made the MOST exquisite discovery...
Spirutein has finally jumped on board and made an unsweetened protein powder mix!
Yay!!!

Also- there is a whey version for us non vegans, by Jay Robb, which is made with....
drum roll please...
Stevia! yes!!!!

My life keeps getting better and better.

Now I know that there is some argument as to the absorption of these kinds of proteins, in terms of soy vs whey vs animal meat protein. Since I am vegetarian, my choices are a bit limited. Most of the time I do ok, but lately I've been working out more at the gym and I believe part of my problem may be a lack of good quality protein. Eggs, cottage cheese, any cheese for that matter, and a little milk in my tea aren't enough; I eat tofu, but I am wary of relying on it too much because no one is absolutely certain (in terms of studies done) if it is a useable protein. I like tempeh sometimes, and eat a lot of nut butters.
But protein shakes! That is a beatiful and easy way to get protein if you are rushing, as I will be, and unable to eat properly. It doesn't replace a well prepared meal, of course, but it is at least something.

And usually a something off limits to me.

Spirutein usually has a formula that while it is high in protein and vitamins, and even some minerals, they use fructose to sweeten the mix. Fructose, you may know, is fruit sugar concentrate. In the end it amounts to being sucrose (table sugar) anyway, because it too is refined and processed and has no nutritional value. Of course, the shake itself has fiber (psyllium and so on) so one could argue that it is along the lines of eating a fruit... but I feel, if I am going to be a purist, I am going to be a purist.
There is a container of chocolate Spirutein still sitting in my cabinet, resting where it has for over a year and a half now. Probably no good. I'll drink it because it was expensive... but it's still fructose.

The new one I bought though, the Jay Robb one, has 24 g protein and not as many vitamins- but excitingly to me is made with Stevia, yay! So I bought the vanilla one, and so far have reconstituted it with milk- plain is fine, I added cocoa and that was even better. Then this morning I added it to my breakfast grains to see what would happen, and it was rather tasty! So that ups my protein intake in the morning without burdening me with crashy sugars.

Now... I will have to investigate perhaps an unflavored/unsweetened protein powder to just add to other things that have flavor. I know a body doesn't need too much protein, but one that is working out needs to be taken care of somewhat.

This is very exciting news for us non sugar folks, though! The fact that the world is beginning to catch on (we don't want this stuff!) is very encouraging to me. Years ago you would have had no options. Hooray!

Quick eats

2007-01-27T16:04:00.000-05:00

One of the toughest things to get past when you strive to eat more naturally or whole foods based is the fact that eating that way takes time, effort and forethought. It's hard when most people you know are able to eat quickly and without much thought, and blunder on with their day... and it's just not as easy for those of us on this path. There are even moments of jealousy for me, witnessing the things I used to eat polished off with gusto by my friends.

I'm not too jealous though- I know that is not a good path to be on, and ultimately leads to worse health in the end.

If you're busy like I am though, eating well and balanced is a tough day to day challange. Compound the no sugar policy with vegetarianism and a committment to more whole foods and grains, and you have a person who is frustrated a lot of the time. I am to start clinics in the spring. My worry is this: most rotations are fast paced and busy, and don't schedule in time to eat. They even warn us in our materials that we will suffer a 'sub-optimal plane of nutrition'. Great. Most students are reduced to eating on the fly; granola bars or worse, candy from the vending machine (the cafeteria, which sells reasonably healthy food, closes at 2 pm!!!). I cannot eat that way. Granola bars are candy in sexy health food wrappers. Even lara bars, which I am a fan of, are high in sugar content in general, being made largely of dates. What is a girl to do?

A few thoughts I have are trail mix, which is cumbersome and messy sometimes. And it takes up a lot of room for the amount you need to consume to feel satisfied. 1/4 cup of nuts is a serving; that has protein, but also a lot of fat as well. Many dried fruits have sugar added in the drying process (not to mention sulfer, hello fart city). So it is an option, but not one to be overdone. There are of course Lara bars, but that is not entirely nutritious on the whole- and cannot be relied upon daily. Protein shakes are tough. Many are made with sugar or aspartame. I'm suspicious of that stuff. The one I like best are the Spirutein shakes, but those are made with fructose- on the whole not a bad form of sugar, but it's sugar nonetheless, and thus has the risk of crashing built right in.

I also found a raw cashew cookie recipe (from the Sweet Stevia cookbook) that requires no cooking, made with cashew butter, ground up sunflower seeds, soy beverage powder and carob; I think I can modify it to make it richer in calories somehow.

Hmmm...

I'm going to have to be creative, it seems. In "Sugar Blues" there is a little recipe for rice balls- brown rice and umeboshi plums wrapped in Nori seaweed. I've made them with carrots (I couldn't find the plums) and was pretty impressed with how much fun they were to make; and how easy. They are pretty satisfying too.

I will have to begin to play with beans- maybe make beans and grind them up, put them in the seaweed brown rice balls? I am brainstorming here. For anyone reading this, suggestions are more than welcome. Pocketable items are key; things that can fit in the doctor's white coat and be easily accessible. I'm no good when I'm starving; I can't think straight, and get fumbly. Not characteristics you want in a doctor, you know. Not impressive to the clinicians.

So here's what I have so far:
*trail mix- nuts and dried fruits
*date and nut bars
*raw cashew cookies
*protein shakes
*brown rice seaweed balls

In all not a bad selection.

I have reservations about juicing. I know it's all the rage, but I'm not clear if juicing takes out the fiber in the items you are grinding up. If so, you are merely getting concentrated sugars and some of the vitamins and minerals; not a balanced deal. If it is grinding up the whole thing then I believe that would be convenient; most people would look at you funny if you showed up with a bunch of kale in your pocket. They already look at me funny, no need to encourage them.

The key for me is balance. I don't want to end up losing too much weight by being kept from eating lunch. That to me is unhappiness. I will keep looking...

Greater energy

2007-01-10T22:15:00.000-05:00

One of the greatest benefits to being sugar free is all the energy I have now. It's true! When I truly think about all the things I can accomplish, with some good solid go-power, I'm amazed. Of course, I get tired and run down like anyone else might, but I have more stamina and my moods are more even (when you take being a veterinary student out of the equation, that is.)

It wasn't that way at first. When you first kick sugar, it takes your body a while to adjust. After all, your body has gotten used to cheap energy sources to get by. That makes everything run more sluggishly- including your metabolism (and in the biological, not just classical digesting food sense). Committing to being sugar free eventually allows your body to readjust and redefine how it utilizes energy sources. It's amazing how little it actually takes to run a body efficiently; we Americans certainly overdo it. Feeding your body whole foods and good high quality nutrients lets your body choose what to utilize and when.

Before I kicked sugar, breakfast was a tremendous issue. I could not last for very long after breakfast at all. No matter what I ate, I was crashing and burning by 10 or 11, totally spent and out of energy. "This can't be natural, can't be right!" It isn't. These days I can eat oatmeal and fruit and be just fine until late morning- when I might feel hungry, but still have my focus and ability to complete sentences and so forth. When necessary, I can even make it until lunch, without the crashing stupidity or hangriness setting in. It's devine, it truly is!

These days, having been sugar free once again for nearly a year now (after a year hiatus... live and learn), I am relieved to see just how much energy I do have. After all, I am in a program that takes a lot out of me. Lab sessions that run hours and have me on my feet on concrete; long days of lectures or studying; learning surgery- going 6 hours without anything at all (which to a sugar addict is a long time, being unable to 'graze'!) and coming out of it all tired but with my wits intact. It is only on rare occasions now that I find myself unable to function or create whole intelligible sentences; most of the time, I am just genuinely tired but coping. That, to me, is amazing! Just amazing!

I feel like an infomercial for some grand new pill, or like a snake oil pusher. All I am really saying is, trust your body- you don't need that crap, if you allow your taste buds to come back and align yourself to eating what you need, you'll be amazed. You won't need liposuction. You won't need that new pill that supposedly burns fat while you sleep (magically, it seems). All you need is to pay attention, stop buying that stuff, and treat your body right. That's it! Really!

I know it's hard. A lot of what I hear from people is that they just can't give up sugar, it's too hard, it's impossible, what will I eat? I can't imagine it... that sort of thing. What I am saying is that I was raised on that crap and I did it. You can only do a thing if you really want to, if you really believe in it, and yourself. No one can do it for you. No one can change you except you (a concept that was key to learn when picking boyfriends... no one can be 'helped', unless they help themselves!). I'm just saying, it's a process and it can be done. It can.

Just look at the benefits! I have lots more energy and focus. My stamina is great. I'm able to accomplish a lot more in a day than I used to- and this shows at the gym too. I ache less, I'm never ill (when all my classmates are dropping like flies with the latest flu!), I recover quickly from what does ail me, any emotional turbulence I do have doesn't last very long.

It gets easier to resist what other people offer you, after a while. I don't even miss the stuff now. Someone offering me a sweet doesn't have the pull it used to. That is the epiphany moment I was waiting for, months back. Oh, it's so hard at first! So damn hard! When you're not 100% committed, and then the offers start... oh sugar, sweet sugar... but when you cross over that hump, you make it here, and wow. It just gets better and better.

Off to bed now... for sweet dreams... to start the day anew, refreshed. Good luck in your journey. Feel free to write or comment if you need a boost along the way... it's not an easy road, and you aren't alone.

Don't hassle me, man!

2007-01-08T21:47:00.000-05:00

It's funny how people react to things they don't understand. I mean, most of the time when someone hears that I am not eating sugar, they're just curious.

"Oh, yeah? Why's that? How do you do it, what do you eat? I couldn't do that."
That sort of thing. I take all that in stride, and gladly share my expriences. Especially if it helps, if it opens someone's eyes. And all the better if they are wanting the information, and willing to hear it and be open to it.

The people that are the toughest are the ones that feel personally challenged. As if my way of life is a personal affront, or a personal attack of some kind on their way of life. My own biological family reacts this way a lot to many things, such as vegetarianism or non smoking. (How dare people ask that their health be spared? How dare they make me smoke outside! they say.)

It seems sometimes that when certain people are confronted with a new reality, their fear response kicks in. Most of the time I see it for what it is; and I generally say, when explaining I don't eat sugar, that I don't care if anyone else does- it just doesn't work for me. Same for being vegetarian; it's my own choice, my own way of life. You can do whatever pleases you, whatever lets you sleep at night. These kinds of reactions, fear reactions from people who find their own reality being tested, are to be expected. You just have to be ready, and have your wits about you.

I don't have any specific examples for today; this is an issue that has cropped up in my mind from time to time. The best example I can give is when someone offers a sweet and they find it turned down. This is a rare thing! Who doesn't eat sweets? Sweets are love. Sweets are kindness, sharing, giving, caring... right? Who turns down love? You are turning down my gesture of friendship? Wow. Who are you, anyway?

Yeah.

Of course, every situation and every person differs, but it's all essentially the same; you are challenging someone's world view, or perhaps challenging them on some level, on some trait they consider weak in themselves. Not that you are offering a challenge; but by simply being who you are, you are challenging them to look at parts of themselves they are not comfortable with and that can be hard! Perhaps you are speaking with someone who always wanted to give up sugar themselves, but found it too difficult (and it is difficult! I won't lie!). Perhaps, then, this person has always felt guilty, or weak, or bad as a result. Then you walk in, successful in your quest... well, that is just downright insulting, isn't it!

All I can say is that I try to live my life by my own principles. I lead my life as an example- to myself. I am my own role model, my own leader. If other people are inspired, great! I am not out to make others feel bad about themselves. I am the first to admit, I have my faults and I slip from time to time... it is I, after all, who will buy Endangered Species chocolate a few times a year. Yes, it's sugar! I think that knowledge goes a long way for people. I'm not saying I'm perfect, not to anyone. That's the key. It's a day to day, week to week, month to month challenge, to live by one's own highest values and principles. It is something you work at, perfect, and practice. Every single day.

Tomorrow, I will not eat any sugar. I didn't eat any today (except fruit, let's be honest), nor did I the day before; and if I have my way, the days and years to follow will show the same tale.

Liquid Stevia

2006-12-09T12:24:00.000-05:00

So I finally broke down and bought a cute dropper bottle of my favorite stuff... I have finally got liquid Stevia! I'm very excited. It probably amounts to being more expensive, but I wanted to see what would happen if I used this in my tea instead of the powder- and save the powder for cooking.

I'm pleased so far; I have bought the "NOW" brand, from my favorite LOCAL health food store... (support local businesses!) which is Simple Enough Natural Foods in Westborough. Anyway there is no unpleasant after taste (they do claim this on the bottle, which I will say swayed my opinion) and it works quite well. The serving suggestion is 1 to 4 drops per cup of tea, but I guess I have big mugs because I require 6 drops. I went slow- literally drop by drop!- until my threshold was reached.

I wonder if I have developed a higher tolerance for the taste anyway? I can generally tolerate more than folks who I have newly introduced to it. It is an acquired taste- you have to WANT to like it; have to WANT to not be eating sugar enough to adapt to this amazing herb.

So yes- this will be my new tea regimen. I am still searching for unsweetened Almond milk and have yet to be successful. I do tolerate the one with Barley malt but I'd prefer just the straight stuff, and am too lazy to make it myself. Next on my shelf is Oat milk, which is unsweetened. Yay!
Happy tea hour!

Lara bars

2006-12-06T10:17:00.000-05:00

I will be hitting clinics soon, and one of my worries is the comment in the handbook:

"You will be experiencing lack of sleep and a suboptimal plane of nutrition..."

So it's openly acknowledged by the school that we will be eating like crap, becoming vending machine hunter/gatherers... ugh. So many people get skinny and grey fourth year.

Most students keep stashes in their pockets and lockers- granola bars, candy, crackers, trail mix. You may have noticed, if you are on this sugar free journey, that these things are full of sugar. Granola bars look like health food, but they're really candy in disguise. (Raw rolled oats give me gas anyway- I can't do it...)

What's a sugar free girl to do?
You may have seen these new health food bars on the market, "lara bars" or "maya bars" etc. They are truly wonderful, with straightforward ingredients and so on. But horribly terribly expensive. They range from $1.25 to $2.00 a pop! That's an expensive way to keep from becoming braindead on a busy day in the clinic.

Either way I bought some to try them out, and I like them a lot. They're very calorie dense, but that will be fine if they are a rescue measure- most likely not something I will nibble as a 10:00 snack on a regular basis. But how to get them cheaper? How?
Well- I'm savvy... why not make some? I could invent a recipe, but I went online to see who has beat me to it, who's been clever and figured it out already.
check it out:

http://bunnyfoot.blogspot.com/2006/02/homemade-lara-type-bars.html

I will be experimenting today or tomorrow and let you all know what happens.
I'm very excited- especially since I can chocolate them out to my heart's content.

Holiday challenges

2006-11-26T18:28:00.000-05:00

This time of year is the toughest time for staying sugar free. There's a lot of pressure to consume treats made by the family, and to partake in them as part of the ritual of tradition associated with all the holidays in general. If I'm going to backslide- even on purpose- it's going to be now.

My mother makes amazing cheesecakes- award winners, in fact. Aunt Judy makes lovely fudge. These things come out around this time of year, and I do in fact indulge in them. I figure it this way- once a year is appropriate to consume sugar, as a rare treat, the way sugar should be treated. At first I felt pretty guilty about it- how can I keep my status as a hardcore non-sugar freak if I sit here eating this amazing cheesecake?

Then I got to thinking. If it doesn't lead to the slippery slope (like smokers taking back up butts at parties... and then it's all downhill from there) and I stay conscious of what I am doing, then no harm done. I can stay aware, and make the choice to eat what my mother made, and go back to eating normally after the fact.

So this year I made the cheesecake. Pumpkin cheesecake, in fact. I used sucanat instead of straight white sugar- sucanat being the very stuff they strip out of the sugar when it's being processed. It still behaves as sugar in the body- eliciting a glycemic reaction, insulin release, etc... but at least it has some nutritional value (minerals). And it's just damn good cheesecake. Everyone enjoyed it, and to prevent myself from eating it every day since I brought it home, I instead brought it to a friend's house and unleashed it on a bunch of stoned grad students. Ha! A perfect way to get rid of the evidence!

Tonight, to remind myself that I can return to my basic healthy way of eating, I made stevia chocolate pudding (it came out runny- sigh; it is an endless battle, this pudding, it never comes out the same way). When Yule passes and Christmas rolls around again, I will be challenged once more- but I will simply try some of my family's treats and let it go again.

When I 'fell off the wagon' a couple of years ago (as I stated in a previous post) I never figured out how to get back on. I surrendered to the urge, to the addiction of sugar, and submerged myself into the depths of it. Since I have worked so hard to climb back out, I am unwilling to jump back in, to slide down that slope once more. This is how I want to live my life.

However- until I experiment and come up with a cheesecake recipe that doesn't involve sugar (or sucanat), I will save the once-a-year indulgement and go with it. I can return to normal, as I have proved to myself.

On that note- it's hard to convert recipes! Some things are forgiving, like ice cream, pudding and PB cups... but other things, such as baked goods, are far more difficult. Removing an entire cup of dry ingredient is a true challenge- it changes the chemistry of the product, and it isn't easy. Stevia does not behave the same as sugar chemically, nor is it one for one anyway. Sugar has a wonderous set of properties that lend it to baking- melting, carmelizing, making things sticky. Stevia has none of these properties, being a powdered concentrated herb. It remains a challenge.

So- if you are on this journey with me this season, good luck! Try to stay sugar free but don't beat yourself up if a slide happens- just get back onto your path after, and be kind to yourself. Honestly, it is kindness to my mother that I do backslide- I know it's hurtful to turn it down, and it means more to me that she feel that her efforts are not wasted. I can only educate and convert so many people.

blessings...

Tea

2006-11-13T13:14:00.000-05:00

Over the past few months I have been weaning off the last of what sugar I was consuming- honey. I love honey in my tea. I prefer it over sugar anyway, and have for years; but I recognize that in terms of affect on the body, honey behaves the same as table sugar- it spikes you immediately and gives a hefty glycemic response. In August I began using Agave nectar instead of honey. Agave is pretty neat; it has a very subtle flavor, and a much lower glycemic response to it.

So why the heck haven't I been using Stevia in my tea? I guess because like eveyone else using Stevia, I am timid in my experimentation because Stevia in the wrong amount can be horrible. Exquisitely disgusting, no joke!

This fall however, I finally decided to try it. After all I am pretty nearly sugar free at this point, fruit excepted. Why bend in my morning cup of tea? Starting the day with a sugar rush- albeit a small one- is strange if you plan on not having anything else besides that the rest of the day.

I went slowly as I do with all other things Stevia, and through experimentation have discovered that the little scoop inside the bottle is plenty for a regular sized mug. When I am using a tall travel mug, I make it a heaping scoop. It seems to work well and I'm happy with the results. I get my tea (yes, it's caffiene, that I'm not giving up) but not the sugar crash from the honey.

It's a grand experiment, and I feel much healthier and happier months later now that I have committed to the lifestyle once again. It's not always easy, because sugar is such a part of our culture... but each day is a new day, and each cup of tea reminds me that I have the power to choose health over momentary taste enjoyment. Not that I am deprived of taste, no! I think my tea tastes fabulous, having adjusted to the taste of Stevia over time; tea with honey, when I drink it now and then (such as at a restaurant) hasn't got the luster that Stevia does. Perhaps I ought to carry some with me, now that I think of it.

If you are reading this and experimenting, share your thoughts! Any ideas should be shared, because Stevia is still underground and the entire idea that sugar sickens people is still not recognized... the only way to educate is to talk and share.

Gotta go... it's time for tea.

Stevia Ice Cream

2006-09-17T17:58:00.001-04:00

One of the hardest things for me to have to give up in my journey was ice cream. I don't enjoy suffering, no matter the cause; and so for years I was making 'alternative' ice cream in my cute little Cuisnart ice cream tumbler. Alternative meaning not cane sugar but substitutes I felt were healthier such as maple syrup, brown rice syrup, barley malt and so forth.

I always recognized that these are still sugars though!

Ice cream is not an exact science and is in fact very forgiving with experimentation, so here is what I have come up with in a bold stroke of genius if I do say so myself...
(Don't forget, milk is still a sugar! But one I'm willing to live with for now)

I use a Cuisinart gel tumbler ice cream maker, you can get them for $50 these days at many stores that sell kitchen goodies.

Ingredients:
2 eggs
*2 cups (light) cream (you can use heavy; I prefer to make Light)
*1 cup (skim) milk (again, use what you like)
1/2 tsp Stevia
1-2 tsp extracts (optional)
4 oz unsweetened (baking) chocolate (optional)
nuts, berries, whatever...

*you can substitute soy milk or nut milks- they have enough fat that it's ok if there's no cream. There is also a great book called Vice Cream that uses Stevia, and is vegan if that's what you're after.*

Beat the eggs.... beat in the cream, then the milk... beat in the stevia. Remember to mix the stevia well, it gets funny with fatty ingredients.
I like Mint Chocolate Chip myself, so here I add 1 tsp vanilla and 2 tsp peppermint extract.

Pour the mix into the machine, follow the manufacturer's instructions.
I wait to add nuts or berries (best if prefrozen) into the mix when it's nearly ice cream (when it's churned up to the top lip of the blade and cover).

For 'chocolate chips':
Melt the chocolate before the ice cream reaches the lip. Add 1/4 tsp stevia, stir well. Add to the ice cream when it's reached the top; the chocolate should be warm enough to flow and make little blebs, but not so hot that it's turning it all back to milk- melt, wait 5 minutes, add. It takes a little finesse, and is tough to explain, sorry... I cook like my granny did...

Freeze, and enjoy!!!

Not all Stevias are created equal...

2006-09-17T17:50:00.000-04:00

A word of caution for you new stevia users out there....
When I began my journey to be sugar free, I got great advice and guidance from a good friend who has been fighting Candida for years. She had been cooking without sugar then for some time. She advised me to buy the Kal brand of Stevia, because it has no aftertaste.

And so I did.

I think I became spoiled, complascent; people would talk about Stevia having a bitter taste and whatnot, and I would think: huh, I haven't experienced that; maybe I can't taste that?

Then people who never eat stevia would eat my peanut butter cups and exclaim that they were wonderful, they were fooled, they'd never suspect it wasn't sugar... so I guessed I wasn't crazy, Kal really is that good.

So recently, I bought a cheaper version of stevia from Trader Joe's. Let me state here that I love TJ's, love their selection and service, etc; but the stevia they got is TERRIBLE. I ruined a batch of PB cups because it was the nastiest, most bitter gross thing EVER. At least they have a good return policy! So Kal it is and shall remain.

So be careful, if you are new to it and experimenting; don't let a bad stevia experience turn you off. It takes finesse to work with it. It takes patience, adding a little at a time, tasting and tasting until it's right. There's not a lot of resources out there yet promoting it as a sweetener because of the FDA b.s., but hopefully one day we will be free of that nonsense and able to eat safe sweets.

Until then, happy cooking!

beautiful

2006-08-12T16:42:00.000-04:00

That is the word I will use to describe how I have been feeling all summer, since I have stuck to my guns and lived sugar free. I am remembering the ways to work around what is offered me, what other people are doing and eating...

Truly though, I have been feeling cleaner and rested, healthy and happy. I feel my body is more streamlined and whole. My skin feels good, I feel balanced and strong.

The challange will be when school starts again, and this will take some work; the sugar flows free here, as people use it to combat stress... not knowing how much it contributes to stress in the end. I will work hard, because my challange this year is to remain myself and rooted in my ideals: not eating sugar, being true to who I am and what I want. That is my beauty and I wish to keep it so. I will work hard! I no longer want the old ways, habits and addictions to be a part of my Self and my Psyche... so this I will do. I will be prepared and if I stumble, I will be gentle but steer back into my own Way. This is the only way I know to stay healthy and sane.

conquering addiction

2006-05-17T18:35:00.000-04:00

Humans are habitual. We have our routines, our cycles, are paths we wear down every day. We depend on them, they keep us sane and whole. And so it is not so farfetched to imagine that we have our addictions. I think every single human alive has an addiction of one sort or another. Most are benign, which is why you don't hear of it- some people are addicted to exercise, some to tea or coffee, sugar or what have you... the ones you hear about are the ones who got snagged by something more insidious and harmful, something harder to shake like hard drugs or acohol.

I have heard a few times the theory that alcoholics are sugar addicts who find their sugar in a bottle instead of a candy bar. It makes a lot of sense to me. There is also the companion theory that alcoholism runs in families; runs in mine, in fact. That's something everyone knows. Now think about sugar. That addiction runs in families too. Runs in mine. Take a deeper look and you'll see that both of them, sugar and alcohol, run in the same families all the time. There are people in alcoholic families that refuse to drink... but they hit up dunkin' donuts every day, prove me wrong! I'm one of those; I refuse to drink- so Johnny Walker was no friend of mine, but I invited Ben and Jerry over all the time.

Think about it. What do alcoholics do when they are trying to quit? The eat candy. They suck on suckers, chew on gum, eat ice cream and snickers, whatever they can to keep their blood sugar up, keep their mouths working... it is all the same demon. Only no one talks about sugar addiction because no one thinks it's a problem.

I do.

It was a problem for me. Is it a problem for everyone? Probably not. But I think sometimes how 'hangry' I get when I am crashing off sugar; how much road rage are we seeing? How much teen violence, domestic abuse, the list goes on and on- society is raging, and why? I have a lot of questions and ideas; is it because they are all crashing off sugar? Is it because they have nothing to believe in? Is it because we are working so hard and getting nowhere? I have no answers; all I can say is, you can control what you do to your body and your environment; your own actions, reactions, and so forth- so you might as well make what you are given as good as you can. As healthy as you can. So you can deal with the rest...

Meena's Stevia Peanut Butter Cups

2006-05-14T23:26:00.000-04:00

I made this one up myself... after a vegetarian 'natural sugar' recipe, that I have broken down over the years. They are rich, the chocolate is intense, so you may want to use mini-cupcake liners for a tinier taste sensation.
I don't usually measure anything, but I'll do my best for your benefit, you will find you won't need to measure either. Have fun!

Ingredients:
Stevia powder
18 liners in muffin tins (more if you use mini)
6 oz unsweetened chocolate (I prefer Ghiardelhi, Baker's sucks, Hershey's is ok)
1/2 to 3/4 cup plain old peanut butter (natural, no additives, no sugar)
Almond or hazelnut meal (ground up nuts, I found mine at Trader Joe's); 1/4 cup?
little bit o butter, one pat or so

Do it:
#1:
Melt 3 oz of the chocolate on a double boiler/ small pot over LOW heat.
Stir well!! Add Stevia to taste; I use the little tiny spoon it came with, and usually use 4 or 5 of those... between 1/4 to 1/2 tsp. Go slow... keep tasting until you like it. Should be smoothly sweet.
Pour a little into each liner, enough to coat the bottom of each of them.

#2:
In another little pot, melt a little butter (for lube sakes) and throw in the PB. Use whichever amount you like, want em full and gooey? use more then. Sorry, but I cook instinctually... like a granny, you know?
This is where you add Stevia to the PB mix; again, go for your taste, go slow, a little bit at a time. Cooking should be about tasting as you go, so here's your chance.
Add the nut meal slowly until the consistency is mushy, like cookie dough.
Yank those little guys out of the freezer and spoon a little of the PB mix on top of the chocolate, spread it out a little with your pinkie.

#3:
Make some more of the chocolate, same as before.
Ooze that chocolate on top of the PB cups, yum!
I put them in the freezer for a few minutes to firm up, so I can eat one right away. Why wait?

You need to store them in the fridge, they will melt like mad at room temp (you have some finger licking ahead of you) because real chocolate melts in your hand you know... enjoy!
Send me some feedback if you try this out.

Stevia, my dear...

2006-05-14T23:14:00.000-04:00

When I realized that I had merely traded a white sugar addiction for a 'natural' sugar addiction, I became interested in kicking the whole deal altogether. But how could I possibly live without chocolate? Wasn't it enough that I was suffering the cruel fate of not being able to handle sweets like some other folks could?

So I was turned on to Stevia. It was so mysterious- still is; cloaked in a sordid past because of how this country is run- by beaurocrats who don't know their asses from their elbows, much less what the good of the commonfolk might be. How is it that a powerful lobby of chemical sweeteners could dump the health of the american people into the garbage by making claims that something proven to cause cancer in lab rats is SAFER than something indigenous peoples have been using for over a thousand years? All those Japanese can't be wrong... Stevia is not the big bad boogey man, that evil little blue or pink packet is.

It frustrates the hell out of me! What it comes down to is this: you want to avoid sugar, you either have no sweet nothings (tough call if you were raised on Oreos, like me), or you eat cancer powder in the form of "Lite" or "Sugar Free!" (which, by the way, is not healthier... they have to kick up the fat content to make that crap edible... 'why am I fat, when I eat diet cookies?'). Can you have a Stevia cookie? Nope! You can buy Stevia as a dietary supplement, which means YES you CAN consume it, but you can't buy it as a sweetner... I mean, come on! Who are they fooling!

The down side of all this crappy red tape is that yes, it's out there and amazing, but does anyone really efficiently know how to use it? No, because the market has stayed tiny as a result! And boy is it easy to screw up Stevia cooking. Just ask me. I have one cookbook, by Jeoffrey Goet?something, and the peanut butter cookies came out like dog buscuits. I have heard somthing like Stevia concentrates are better now than they were, so you have to use more or something, can't remember... either way... you almost have to cook on instinct. I have been experimenting, slowly and carefully for a couple of years; I will post my success stories here. But man-0-man it is easy to make it taste like ass!

So do like I did, research Stevia on the 'net, it's out there and all over the place. I like the "Kal" brand (red and white bottle) of powder, they have none/barely any aftertaste. I am keen to try the others and compare. I want more recipe books, I want to be free to buy products marketed with it as it is meant to be- a non caloric, safe sweetener!
Fuck the man. That's all for tonight.

Focus and clarity...

2006-05-13T12:49:00.000-04:00

One of the best parts of eating well is how I feel. Your food intake is the way you alter your body chemically every single day. The way I am eating now means I am clear and focused, a huge bonus for me to get through vet school and retain something.

I think it's amazing that you can personally modulate your heath and mood just with what you put into your body. So many people in this world just don't know that and when I look around and see the general state of ill health and sadness, I know that it comes down largely to the fact that people are increadibly disconnected; to the earth, to their people, to their own bodies! How can you be so disconnected to your own body that you ignore the warning signs?

But we do, I did, we all do these days. We lost our connection so long ago that most people don't even have it as part of their culture anymore. And those that did- the Native Americans- are losing it as well (think of the alcoholism in that culture now, as a result of what has happened to their social structure...) Wherever we go we bring our poison, and leave a trail of ill health, ill feelings and ill being.

Is it any wonder?

I have almost magically relinquished a lot of the phantom sadness that has plagued me for so long. Could it really be that simply eating better can have this much of an effect on me? It can. No amount of chemically produced candy can give the kind of happiness and high that just feeling good can. Now granted a lot of this is hidden under the stress and strain of the unnatural vet school vibe I reside in... but when summer comes, and I can enjoy the heath and wellbeing I have crafted, I am certain that I will bask in the good times to come.

Sugar poison in my history...

2006-05-10T21:38:00.000-04:00

I decided to create a new blog solely for my pursuit of health and happiness; that way what I need to rant about doesn't interfere with all the fun loving stuff I have been doing elsewhere...

My life experience thus far has been one long argument with my body chemistry, and it has been an exhausting ride. I hope that what I have learned along the way can be of help to someone else.

I grew up eating crap. "Cereal" consisting of processed flours with sugar is the first or second ingredients. What you eat as a child is forever part of your psyche as a positive and calming thing; I have a deep fondness for Count Chocula, Honeycomb, Lucky Charms... all for breakfast! It's no wonder I learned nothing in math class and couldn't pay attention... I was crashing off that shit after an hour.
I ate a lot of Wonder bread, Oreos, all that stuff... when I was a teen trying to eat better, I ate sugared yogurts, white crackers, soda, juice... on and on.

When I was in my teens and early twenties, I fought my attitude big time. I knew I was way too sensitive, defensive, crabby, and had intense mood swings. I began to try and figure out why, and realized as early as 17 or 18 that I had a sugar addiction and that it couldn't be good. It didn't make sense then to try and stop. I ruined relationship after relationship with wacky mood swings, bouts of intense anger and sadness; when you experience such a strong emotion, you have to find a reason or go mad. So unfortunately I always chose boyfriends to blame the emotions on, and didn't learn to have a good functional relationship for a long long time.

I grew tired of crashing eventually. I started looking for answers. I read a few books, started talking to people; I started with Protein Power and learned about hypoglycemia. I began to realize that if I couldn't control the hypoglycemia and mood swings, at least I could see them coming and utilize food to help me get it under some sort of control. I helped my friends and boyfriends recognize the signs of a 'hangry' person. They could see the crash pattern and know that when I was silent and unable to talk, unable to choose what to eat or even cranky and not wanting to eat, that eat was exactly what I needed to do.
I was scared... diabetes is right around the corner from that stuff!!

I was frustrated and trapped.
Then one day, after laying on my bed alone with Ben and Jerry, a friend came to visit; one of those amazing earthy crunchy folks that I love so much. He said, why are you eating that poison? And recommended the book Sugar Blues by William Dufty.
It changed what I thought forever.
I had already been moving towards living and eating more naturally; I was vegetarian, even vegan for a time; this pushed me to a new dimension, but even so I was still not ready.
I took the first step, which was to replace all the shit in my life with natural alternatives- I took out white sugar and white flour, and began to experiment with whole grains and alternatives like barley malt, brown rice syrup, maple syrup and so on. I learned through the invaluable advice of friends how to make my own ice cream, among other things.
The thing to realize though, was that I was still eating sugar. Oh, it was healthier sugar, but sugar nonetheless... and still leading to the road called Diabetes, eventually.
It did help the hypoglycemia though. The crashes were less, and not as bad. I was eating alternatives, and in general trying to cut down.

I discovered Stevia after a while. At first, it was a frustrating experience, because it is unwieldy and difficult to use; but I have been getting the hang of it. I went completely sugar free for a few months; no alternative sugars at all. It was amazing!

Then I fell off the wagon, so to speak. I got into vet school, and discovered the worst stress of my life. Sugar, white sugar, was copious and free, all over campus.
Now, I am the worst chocolate fiend that ever was. This made the fight intense and tiring. Not to mention that I had left where I was living, a place where alternative lifestyles are supported and even expected; and moved to a place where it is tough to find the resources I need to feel comfortable and free to maintain myself in my own version of health. So I took a huge backslide, back beyond 4 years... all undone... I was still using alternatives, but dipping into the white stuff like a crack addict.

It came to a head this spring. I was just wild with Christmas, Valentines, and Easter candy. It was like I was reliving that dream I used to have as a kid- the one where I had a giant goblet of candy in my room that was never empty no matter how much I ate, and that I could eat chocolate for every meal and never get sick.

Ha!

Oh it made me sick alright. So sick. It crept up, and I barely noticed. My skin went wild, I broke out like a teen; my normally slender frame started bulking up; I was puffy, soft, my belly hurt, I was a bitch and a basket case- crying all the time, upset, unable to stay focused and calm. I tried a few times to kick, this is the amazing thing! I tried, and COULDN'T! It was pretty stunning... because I know better. But the siren song of sugar was so strong.

I had to wait and hit bottom, so to speak. It finally happened, and I knew in my exhaustion that it was time. I went to the library and took out Sugar Blues again for inspiration. I got rid of the crap in my kitchen and went shopping. I was gentle with myself, forgiving, understanding...
Detox was intense. I was unconciously tricking myself- Oh, so what if I have a little? We can resume this experiment tomorrow... but at last, I persevered. I have won, I have conquered the monster again.
But I have come to realize that this is not a battle you fight once and win. It is inexorably part of my being, something I will always have to guard against. Addictions and nervous behaviour run in my family, and this is meaningful; I can't drop an addiction without something to fill the vaccuum or void that it leaves behind. Something must be there to fill the space or else it is all for naught.
So, obsess with being the anti sugar nazi I once was... I was there, I can do it again, and I am determined this time.

If you have held on and read this whole thing, good for you; I hope that I can inspire someone else. Stick around, I will be posting all sorts of goodies and tidbits, tips and encouragement... in hopes that someone else wants to do away with this widespread drug and poison that is in everything in diets these days.

blessed be.