5.22.2007

Changes

Dear friends,
My life has taken some sad crazy changes lately and I have been working pretty hard to maintain an even keel. The house I was living in burned down 3 weeks ago, taking all I owned (except for a few pieces of jewelry) with it. It has been a surreal and pretty unimaginable few weeks, full of changes and challenges. The amount of support and outpouring of love and help has been incredible, and I can stand before you now saying yes, I'm ok, I'm surviving. My kitties did not. None of what I have worked my whole life to build has survived. When you come from nothing and build from nothing, it hurts to lose it all.

So three weeks later, I am traveling on my externships in my last year of veterinary school and am faced with a spectacular set of issues. Not only am I adjusting to living with an entirely new wardrobe and set of belongings (only, by choice and design, the bare minimum of what I require to get by!) but I am also meeting a lot of new people and traveling to unfamiliar places AND trying to maintain the lifestyle I have crafted for myself. Including eating well despite stress, strife and unfamiliar environments.

The first three weeks after the fire were pretty easy. I simply did not want to eat. For the first time in my life I experienced grief anorexia. I have never ever had a problem eating before. Never. When stress rolls along, I would usually seek comfort and be in danger of relapsing to my old sugar habits. Well, folks, surprise surprise... three weeks in unfamiliar digs, totally displaced, out of sorts, sleep deprived... I was barely getting what calories I needed and not even noticing.

That has come to ease of late but I am faced with the new challenge of living in a hotel that has fridges, just not one in my room. So I am adjusting to eating in a whole new way, still sticking to my guns of not eating sugar- tempted though I may be by the ease of prepared foods. And free hotel breakfast (I allow you to guess what that might entail). Not to mention life on the road with busy horse vets. Yeah- recipe for disaster, but I'm doing ok. My appetite is returning, and I am starting to wonder what the hell I'm going to eat for the next 10 weeks, while surviving in the way I know best.

I'm sleep deprived. I'm not getting enough veggies. I have no place to put them! I don't have the money to eat out all the time... so peanut butter and fruit spread are my options. Now, fruit spread is not ideal, I know- it's pretty much sugar, but I do get the 100% fruit kind and use very little. I am at a loss. No way to cook, nothing to really cook in. Bought a camp stove and fancy camp pot (and this neato swiss army fork/spoon thingie, wowie!) I am making do with having nothing except my car and the kindness of strangers.

So. Traveling... no sugar... this is not so much a challenge here, but I imagine the deeper south I go the more interesting it will get. We shall see, that's what I know.

1 comment:

alyssum said...

canned veggies and canned soup. They save me from malnutrition when i"m on the road!